Sudden Shift in Reality

I already felt different the moment I woke up this morning. My room was empty. No roommate. Heavy rain by the window. Blueness inside. I get ready. I get to class. I didn't look at you, but I felt something awkward. Something different. Out of place. I just didn't want to look at you, so I walked straight to my seat. Then, through the corner of my eyes, I noticed a different color in you. It was black. I turned my head, and I looked at you and your hair. Why did you dye it black? That beautiful and golden hair. It's almost as if you have some kind of problem with colors. Same thing with your nails. A different color every week, which I don't like at all. Well, I can't judge you... I'm just writing my thoughts. I don't like girls who have red or black or colorful nails to begin with. I like it when it's more natural. Kinda feminine and girlish, but natural. Long nails but not too long. Neat, delicate and no colors involved. Something transparent is okay, I guess. By looking at a girl's hands, you can figure out a lot. Or at least, that's what I think. It's not that I'm a pervert, but a perfectionist. And perfectionists tend to focus on every detail. Even the smallest ones. Anyway, that golden hair that used to hypnotize me... is clearly gone. The hole of emptiness is getting bigger and bigger. That 'something' that I used to hold on to, is gradually fading away.

What's more, T.As are having a strike this week. Heavy rain & strike. Perfect FUCKING combination. My Wednesday exam is canceled, which might be good... or not. I need more fucking credits. My mid-term was a disaster. I thought this Monday was going to be like every Monday. Same ol' routine. But no. So much shit going around. It feels weird. This rain makes me feel blue, people make me feel blue, almost everything is making me feel fucking blue. I should drink Gatorade or something til' I turn blue. Ironically, it's one of my favorite colors. I hate it, but I love it. Well, I don't know how the day is going to end. And seriously, I don't care.

Fuck it,

C.