Routine

Feeling empty? Tired of the same routine over and over again? Are you getting that feeling of not making any progress in life? Well, we could say that everything is accumulative. Even the tiniest sign of sadness or depression. Besides, we tend to associate things and images all the time. For instance, picture yourself in a depressing situation while you are in your room, staring at the roof. Or the computer. Or unconsciously but constantly breathing the peculiar smell in your room. Anything associated to your room. Now, let's say you wake up the next morning, still depressed, and you look around. The first thing you see is the roof, or something that reminds you of the abyss you are falling into. Or, you get back from an extremely exhausting day, and the moment you enter your room, you perceive a peculiar smell, which brings back shitty memories. And even though you probably don't consciously know it, depression takes over you automatically.

"Through the act of living itself, sadness piles up here and there. Whether in the sheets hung out to dry in the sun... the single toothbrush in your bathroom... or the history logs of your cell phone."

I could keep writing and writing but it's fucking late and I need to get some sleep. Speaking of which, I had a dream this morning. I decided to take a small nap, so it was completely unexpected. I dreamed about her. It felt weird and uncomfortable, but in my dream, I was happy. We were staring at each other and everything else was black and white. Everything seemed frozen. I remember her saying that she was headed somewhere and right after that, I woke up. Reality brought me back, and with it came the blueness of life. It was a nice dream, but it made me feel like rotten shit by the time I woke up. "It seems reality destroys our dreams."

"When you're waking up, the world is a blur. What was clear in a dream, suddenly makes no sense. No surreal rescues. No easy, magic way out. But you are awake."

Alone in my head and alone in the world,

C.